Leaning and Leaping

Prov. 3: 5
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
This was one of the last things Pres. Monson at the closing of general conference. I listened to the whole two days of conference and nothing struck me more than those lines. Recently I have heard this scripture over and over, and I think I will continue to hear it through out my life. I have been faced with a lot of big decisions the last couple months and even though they don’t make sense to me I know there is a plan so here I am leaning and leaning and leaning not to my own understanding but to the lords, with as much trust as I can give . I am taking a leap of faith, a big one and hoping I don’t fall short of making it to the other side of the canyon. I have gone back and forth a million times on this decision I haven’t slept for a week, I have weighed options, crunched numbers, researched, prayed, fast, went to the temple , second guessed myself, I was spent! And after much deliberation I have decided to do it! I am moving down to Provo in two weeks, It’s not logical, It will cost more, I have never been out on my own, I will have a long long long drive there and back, I will be a hair instructor something I have never done before, but despite all of this I know I should go, for whatever reason I feel that it is right, I know it will be hard and I know it will be a huge learning experience. I never thought I would be one of those girls who quits a good job, leaves free rent, friends, and family behind just because “It felt like the right thing to do” But that’s where leaning comes in, I have moments when I get that feeling in my stomach ..you know the feeling when you are at the top of the roller coaster looking down at the steep decline in front of you, and I think to myself “What the heck am I doing?” But I am very familiar with that feeling and those thoughts and I know to revert back to my original feeling. I know it will all turn out I know the lord would not lead me to where he is leading me without a plan. I know this. I am at the top of the roller coaster I will either throw my hands in the air and scream and have a great time, or I will get nauseous and throw up and have a terrible time, either way I know the ride will come to a stop and I can get off whenever I wan to, who knows maybe I will get off and find the whack-a-mole game is a better suite for me?